You know how when it comes to success and other things, most people say it’s all about the mindset? It works the same with stress management. Mindset can also be key.
And while sometimes it seems that you have nothing else to do about the amount of stress you experience – regardless of its source, there actually are a ton of steps you can take to help you regain control of your emotions.
But first…
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO MANAGE STRESS?
It might not seem like it or maybe it just doesn’t cross your mind… but constantly living with a high amount of stress level puts you and your well-being at risk by jeopardizing both emotional and sometimes, even physical health too.
Stress is annoying, it makes you feel like you’re out of control – and you feel like there’s an endless to-do list and there’s not enough time – plus the fact that you’re distracted due to the stress that you’re feeling… it’s all becoming a blur.
You make more mistakes or you keep re-doing things because you have less focus, you make bad or unthought-out decisions, or you feel like you just can’t function at all.
BUT YOU HAVE CONTROL, YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN HOW
Yes, you can regain control – you always have it within you. You just have to learn how to tap on it whenever you need to.
It is in how you reframe your MINDSET, and before you think of anything I just want to say – I understand if you mistrust me here but hear me out first.
STRESS MANAGEMENT KICKS IN…
Helping you get out of that negative spiral and find a positive spiral. Where your ultimate goal may be to get a balanced life, get enough time for your work and family, and have fun things – all of it. And you will be more resilient to hurdles along the way.
And, IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
There is no one-size-fits-all solution in this so you have to figure out what YOU need.
Here are a few tips and tricks to choose froM
1. Identifying what stresses you out – in your life.
When you know your stress triggers, it will be easier to avoid them, or even address them once you’re ready.
2. Having and keeping a stress diary at hand.
A great way to start is to make a stress diary. When writing things down, they become clearer in our minds. We can look at the whole picture and compare and re-organize until we feel – this is how it is!
A stress diary can be made with a structure where you in boxes write about situations – feelings around the situations – how you have tried to solve them before – and the result.
3. Being true to yourself.
The most important thing when identifying and reflecting on your emotions is to always keep it real by being true to yourself, and a way to do that is to accept your feelings and approach them from a third-party perspective by trying to separate emotions from decisions, so you can think rationally and without bias caused by emotions.
Getting those out of your way can make a world of difference.
4. Identifying what helps in making you feel better.
When you have identified your stressors and have noticed you started to feel better, immediately try to track or figure out what helped in making you feel better. Having this at hand can really change too much before you start dwelling on more negative thinking.
ALWAYS REMEMBER, THOUGH...
Stress is an automatic response in our systems – and these responses come whether we want them or not.
Sometimes, or most of the time, they come at the most unexpected times so knowing how to deal with them is really needed.
In addition to the above…
Here are 4 actions you can take when a stressor comes:
1. Avoid & Learn to Say No
This is good to do when we talk about toxic people.
On the other hand, it is not advisable to avoid things that need to be addressed because then they will become limiting beliefs in you. So it’s still crucial to know which are to be avoided and which are to be solved, and to do that, reflect on the pros and cons.
2. Alter was the second word
Finding ways to alter your behavior and actions can help you move on. Compromise, and who knows, maybe you can find new ways or some other way to make things work better.
3. Adapt.
If you can’t change the situation you have to change yourself to get a new result. Look at the bigger picture and identify what is important or what needs to be changed vs. what needs to be accepted and adjusted.
4. Accept
Acceptance is one of our prime stress management tools. If you can’t change things, you just need to accept and that is how it is – accepting that you can do nothing about that fact except you can change your mind about it and find other ways.
TAKE A BREAK, PAUSE & BREATHE
When things are hard, go back to the basics… which is to take a break so you can pause, relax and breathe.
Look and focus on the good things and find ways to grow. When you’re refreshed, you’ll find it easier to think.
FORGIVE…
Forgive – yourself and others.
Always keep in mind that in this life and even in the next, everyone makes mistakes and some of those mistakes may affect us. Try to free yourself from that negative energy and move on, as it is not worth it to go down that pit hole…
TRY SAYING YOUR FEELINGS OUT LOUD
Put words on your feelings, as saying them out loud can help make you feel so much better than just letting the thoughts stay in your mind.
Talk to friends you trust – or with a therapist if you feel it is too personal to share with your tribe.
Another great help if stress creeps up on you…
is to start MOVING YOUR BODY.
Moving eats stress hormones as the stress hormones are then used as energy.
At the same time, moving creates energy that enlightens your brain toward positivity. With that, comes clearer thinking because of the gift we got then back 200,000 years ago.
SMILING HELPS
Smiling helps as it gives you the “feel-good” hormones. It is contagious and can make people feel good too when they see you smile — and because of the mirror neuron theory… It creates a ripple effect.
DON’T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR.
Laugh if you can and when you can, even if that means laughing at yourself, and lastly…
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR HEALTH
Because our mind, body, and souls remain connected inside us.
And as you notice…
I always come back to the mindset over and over again…
You probably have heard about daily journaling many times, as it’s a frequent subject of discussions about personal growth. The question is, why?
DAILY JOURNALING WORKS
Yes, if the question is why then the simple answer is BECAUSE IT WORKS.
Let me ask you a quick question:
“Do you journal?”
Have you answered yes? Great! Have you answered no? Maybe you must start trying.
Do you know what another answer we frequently get for this question aside from a simple yes/no?
“I know I should, but no I don’t.”
Interesting, right?
HOW YOU CAN JOURNAL AS A HABIT
Most people – at least in the business world, say that they know they should do journaling as a daily habit as it would be good for their business, but still end up not doing it.
I’d say…
The very first thing to do is just get a pen and a notebook, and start writing even without much thinking – just let your thoughts flow. Believe me, you’ll be amazed!
Also… a tip: Refrain from using the word “should”, as we know that when we use it, we most of the time end up not doing them, because of how the thoughts enter our subconscious. Instead, let’s tell ourselves: WE HAVE TO – so our subconscious won’t end up having too many excuses.
WHY SOME PEOPLE DON’T JOURNAL
Going back to what I mentioned, the answer here would be as simple as: They don’t know where or how to start.
Why? Because before they even begin to write they think of things like:
“I’m no writer”.
Or
“I feel like my thoughts are too complicated”.
But hey…
Let go of those thoughts because they don’t make sense in journaling.
In journaling, you don’t need to be a professional writer – that ain’t the goal of that. It ain’t not for publishing, yeah?
Same as if you feel your thoughts are too complicated… exactly why you must write them down! Know how things suddenly become so organized after writing them down and being able to clearly ponder? That’s also how it is in journaling.
So again, just let go… And just start writing. 🙂
WHY DO JOURNALING?
Journaling helps you organize your thoughts – helping you make more conscious decisions. It’s a tool to find YOUR WHY, sort your feelings, comes up with new ideas, discovers yourself and your inner being… and many more!
Plus, you’ll realize how much of a big help it actually is when you have something to come back to and reflect on. You’ll see your personal progress, you’ll see how far you’ve come by, and you’ll see things you still need to improve and work on.
TIPS ON WHAT TO WRITE
If you are a beginner or just planning to start journaling soon and looking for ideas to write about… Here are some:
1. Your Activities + Feelings
What have you been up to recently? How did you feel about them? What did you enjoy the most or what bored you to death?
2. Significant Events + Your Reactions
What happened today? Are there things that made you feel happy or sad? Were there words uttered you liked or didn’t like hearing? Were there sudden changes? How did you react?
3. Future Plans + Essential Steps to Take
What do you plan for yourself in the next 3, 5, or 7 years from now? What are the necessary steps to achieve them? Does the current thing you’re doing resonate with your future plans?
You can start with those 3 things for now, and see how they affect you personally. You’ll be surprised how those simple things can help make you realize huge things!
Also, make it fun! Don’t force yourself to sit endlessly long with your journaling… So if you get tired of it after 10 minutes – just stop without guilt. 😉
Why does it seem so easy to other people to hit it on, but we always feel like it is sooo hard to even start a conversation?
This is a long stretch for many people. I get it!
I know from myself – being an introvert – still am but have found ways to walk around it.
But when I was younger I was always in the second line of people – never upfront, never saying a thing except when I was treated deeply unfairly, especially by a special teacher in high school, but when I spoke up, I got myself in bad trouble!
She liked me just as little as I liked her. Teachers who have very obvious favorites have never been my favorites.
Maybe you share this experience with me..
Today I want to talk about ways to connect with people – new ones and old ones too! Make the conversation and connection a good one, help them grow, and help yourself grow.
1. COMPLIMENT
The first way can be to compliment someone or say something nice to them in a nice and honest way.
It doesn’t count if you just say it so you can but then you know you don’t mean it – you’ll be surprised how many people actually can read genuineness from afar.
FIND THE BEAUTY
Who Doesn’t want to speak with you when you let them know how great you think their shoes, hair, shirt or car is? Find the beauty and let it flow.
I am sure that in just about any situation you can find at least ONE thing you can honestly say positive things about.
PRACTICE
You can practice this by doing it in all meetings you have with other people, and you’ll get used to it that it will come naturally every time.
You also don’t know how much you can light up a person receiving your compliment, and that tiny positivity you started will spread around and it will be a win-win for everyone.
2. GRATITUDE
When you share gratitude with someone for something they have done for you, it is the perfect open door for a conversation.
This works a little bit like the giving of compliments But focuses on something they have done for you that you can be grateful for.
It does not have to be big life-changing things, it can be very minor actions, like opening the door for you.
IT WORKS 2 WAYS
Gratitude works in 2 ways. Your brain gives rewards to YOU for doing it by making you feel good, and of course, the receiver, a simple thanks could always go a long way.
Who knows where this ripple effect could lead?
3. SMILE
The power of a smile – is my favorite. So easy, always at hand, so effective!
Yes, smiling is contagious and science has demonstrated that over time and time again. Your smile may be the perfect catalyst for a conversation also with people you don’t know from the beginning.
A smile is irresistible. It is extremely hard not to smile back if someone gives you a smile, and you can use the smile just to spread happiness even if you don’t aim to start a conversation.
I have talked about the smile tool for many years now – and I still love it. I was an introvert – but smiling is easy.
4. CHECK-IN ON THEM
Give them a ring or send a card!
The pandemic has not been a ton of fun for anyone, making the community experience the pandemic as the perfect catalyst that can bond two people – asking how someone managed the pandemic life, and now that when the pandemic is on its way out we can still find thousands of other reasons to check in on friends and family.
5. A QUICK HELLO DOESN’T HURT
A simple hello can be the catalyst to a great conversation on the street, at the office, or in your community.
Who knows who you might get connected with based on a simple hello?
KINDNESS IS THE BASE
As you by now may have gathered is that all 5 ways are based on the same principle – kindness, – and it is contagious
All of my examples – compliments, gratitude, smile, friendly check-in conversation, or just saying hello – are all based on Kindness and have astounding ripple effects, so a little kindness can go a long way.
Kindness is CONTAGIOUS – an odd but true thing to say.
An even more fun fact is that kindness is more contagious than a virus, as it works EVERY TIME.
“How is that possible?”, you might ask.
Well, that is made possible by our little mirrors…
Or basically, our neurons mirror the behavior of each other, as though the observer were itself doing the act.
THE MIRROR NEURON THEORY
Imagine walking one day to grab your morning coffee, and someone just greeted you “Good Morning” with a big smile, you automatically smile and greet them back even if you do not know the person.
Then you will notice that you’re suddenly spreading positive vibes with the people around you, you carry the smile for a longer time and you pass it to the people you encounter, and of course, they pass it along too.
That also applies to negative emotions, that is why when someone is having a bad day and spreading negative vibes in one room, you just feel like you want to get out because you also feel the negativity as if it’s yours.
Additionally, we mirror back ourselves. When we do good deeds, like giving compliments or expressing gratitude, we produce feel-good hormones in our brains which make us feel so much better.
So the more we do it, the more we feel good and the higher the chance of getting it back.
MORE CASES
Not enough proof?
Why do you move your leg or get the urge to do so when watching an intense football/soccer game?
Why do you cry when you see television actors cry? Why do you laugh when they laugh? Why do you feel the emotions so much as if what’s happening to the show is happening to you?
I know, it’s astonishing to even imagine how it works. I was astounded when I first heard about it too, but I think science first figured out the theory because of the smile scenarios – that if I smile at you you automatically smile back despite not knowing each other.
KINDNESS FROM A BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE
Let’s analyze this from a business perspective.
A lot of businesses today or at least their leadership believe in using push methods which are stressful.
Being pushed to do harder can be motivational if done right, but most of the time makes the person feel more pressured than motivated.
They might look like everything’s alright at the moment, as they have no problems working too hard, but in the LONG RUN, they will start to feel overwhelmed, and demotivated, and you will notice the work getting slower. You get stressed out – and in the end, burned out
Why? Because the push method only works for short-term relationships, if you want to build a long-term one, you have to do it right and make sure that what you release is positivity so that in return what you get is efficiency and effectiveness.
Businesses, it actually goes for every activity – business or not – activities are supposed to be fun and not all seriousness, as if mixed with a good amount of fun, the value comes.
Feelings of all types have ways of getting into us no matter what.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
So the next time you encounter anyone, use this mirror neuron theory to spread goodness around.
THERE IS NO NEED TO HURRY
However you want to start a conversation, remember that you do not need to hurry or pressure yourself. Do it when you’re ready! You don’t want to stutter or say words not thought about, to avoid it from backfiring.
If you want more help with self-development, here’s a copy of my free e-bookso you can jumpstart your journey!
Today I stumbled over a very good article – or rather list – over habits that make/keep you happy.
Many people say that they are not happy because of …….. and they come up with a long list of things they dont have or a list of people that have done – or not done – things that prevent them from being happy. (more…)
Today is the first day of the next 100 – want to come along on this journey?
Haven´t been blogging for several months. Have been thinking about it – but thinking does not make any results. So when I saw this challenge I just had to get in. 100 days is 3 months! Many days to fill with content. But when it comes to health and stress management the things to write about are endless. (more…)
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