The other day I was asked, in a Facebook comment, how to avoid disturbed sleep when caused by overload. At first I was going to answer – “by looking over your sleeping habits” – but no, that is starting in the wrong end. That is treating a symptom but the “disease” is still there.
You have to start by looking at what is bugging you, what is stressing you out, right!? And to do that you need to look at the big picture.
Do you remember what metaphor I use for looking at your whole situation? I suggest you take a virtual helicopter ride over your life. You can fly around yourself and you can go down and hoover over specific areas where you see specific challenges. It can give you a good picture of the whole situation. This is what I do with all my private clients and it is just as thought-provoking every time. What will show up? Often issues that the client did not predict.
This is going to make some of you laugh out loud. That is what I did when I realized this. You know, I had a belief about something and I didn’t feel I had the time to look into it. Everyone else talked good about it so I reckon it is a good thing. But I thought it was out of my reach – and this has been going on my whole adult life. Because I heard about this all the way back when the Beatles did this. But it all seemed so oriental and so hard.
Until a month ago.
Last Sunday we hosted our yearly Waffles Party. Yes, you heard me right – our yearly Waffles Party. It is a party to which we invite all our friends, relatives and closer work associates and we serve waffles with jam and whipped cream – that’s all – except coffee and tea too of course.
Around 60 guests found this a good idea and they came to the party. Most people ate 3 waffles each and with some simple math that adds up to around 180 waffles. That is an enormous amount of waffles! Waffles are baked in a special machine. They take each about 4 minutes to bake and we had 5 machines. Basic mathematics count to 15 waffles an hour in one machine – 5 machines make 75 waffles an hour. If you are superefficient! And you are not …….. no-one can be superefficient for so long in such a stressful situation. So, how is this possible to manage in a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon – and survive without getting totally stressed out?
The super-power word is PLANNING!
End of January! Lots of expectations for the upcoming year. But also getting caught up with reality. Have I started off as I wanted? Will my business reach the goals? Why haven’t we heard from that client that seemed so interested? How will my economy turn out? It was supposed to be easier for each year in business – not harder!
Also in private life the questions start to stack. Will my kids succeed in school or will they be bullied? Will the older kids get any jobs and will my marriage last? Why does it seem like everyone else are so happy?
The questions in everyday life are endless. You want to scream:
Halfway into January and with New Year Celebrations behind us, we have the rest of our life laying at our feet. And most of our New Year Resolutions are forgotten – or?
In most cases that is a fact!
We generally feel the euphoria of a new year – we see new possibilities – set new goals – make all kinds of promises – but then all of a sudden our daily life hits us and we are back in our old rat race. This is the life we know and it is easier to stay there than to do the changes.
Does it have to be like this?
But why is it that it always happens? What is this all about? It is about your standards in life. You do your chosen rituals in life every day and you continue to do them the same way until you find a reason to change.
It works like this! You first have to have a VISION – where do you really want to be – what do you really want to become? Then you have to have good reasons why you want that. You have to feel those reasons in your heart. You have to review and feel them every day!
It is funny, isn’t it, that every New Year we want to make a new start. As if there is a start and end in the middle of life rather than life being just an ongoing process. Well, we humans need milestones in life to focus our story around and a new year is as good as any time for that purpose. I had been doing the same until I discovered that it didn’t matter when you make your promises to yourself – as long as you do what you promised. And I find it is easier to keep the promises if I make them in a context connected to the issue rather than to a fixed date.
The other day I heard about a study on longevity. It was based on the fact that more and more people are reaching the age of 100 years in Sweden and I found that interesting at a time when we are makeing resolutions for our own positive changes.
Just the word Christmas starts a lot of thoughts and feelings within most people. It often presses the “Stress Button” within since it is “supposed” to be the fun and healing time, but it more often tends to be the most stressful time of the year. It can be traditions to be faithful to, being alone without family, other people’s expectations and so much more. What is Christmas time for you? Today it is family time for me, but before it was just a lot of stress. I was in a rat race that I hated. But I found a solution. Here is my story:
When I was a kid I remember the hectic race going from one relative to the other on Christmas Eve. Some of them got annoyed because they thought we didn’t make the right priority in which order to visit them. We were supposed to exchange gifts and taste each other’s sweets. I never understood the fun in this – it was just a must because of other people’s expectations – and I was so relieved in the evening when we had our own Christmas evening – just for the closest family including grandparents.
Holiday Season is coming up with all fun activities and gatherings with your favorite friends and family! Or – Holiday Season is coming up with stress and depression for the things you MUST do! Which scenario do you prefer?
The first one I guess!
It is time to start now to make the perfect Christmas and New Year Holidays. With a little bit of planning it is achievable. Miscommunication and unrealistic expectations are usually the causes of all this stress. That is why you need to start talking with your folks – now!
Here are 7 tips to help you make it happen:
Home sweet home! That is what I say every time I get home from long-distance travelling. Not because I don’t like travelling and definitely not because I don’t like where I have been. No it is just because living out of a suitcase for too long is distressing and also travelling over many time zones stress your circadian cycles.
I have already been travelling long-distance to the west coast in US twice this fall and that is a time difference from Sweden at 9 hours. One more trip is planned. It doesn’t only split the time in my work but it does take some energy with the jetlag from such big time difference – both going there and also when coming back home.
As stress mentor I meet lots of business leaders and executives that say exactly the same thing. I usually ask them for their best tips on how to avoid to get all stressed out of all the travelling and I will list a few of their tips below. Continue reading
People often talk about, almost brag about, how much they have on their to-do list. It has for a long time been high status in being busy – as if the one with the most full agenda wins. And many also claim that they can’t get sick from their long list because they just doing fun things.
They claim to have positive stress.
They are wrong! It is as simple as that.
There is no such thing as Positive and Negative stress. The reactions to our bodies are the same whatever the reason. Continue reading