Have you made New Year’s resolutions and already quit them?
Well welcome to normality, because 95% of everyone who made New Year’s resolutions have quit by January 15. So you’re just normal!
So why is it like this? Well, because people don’t make resolutions from the heart they just say the words that they think they should say, and then the resolution will be enough to make them change.
But that’s not how biology works. You know you need progress to be happy and you have to find things that make you progress, and then you will make changes that will last.
“A resolution is a new solution and that’s what you want.”
First you have to figure out a vision of where you really truly want to be. Ask yourself; What is my goal? It has to be something positive because if you work against the negative things that you don’t want then that’s gonna take willpower, and we have a very limited amount of willpower.
You need to find something that you’re gonna be pulled towards, something that’s going to pull you, something that excites you, something that you want to be, that comes takes you on a trip towards it. You have to have a strong enough reason to want this, to follow through because there are gonna be struggles on the way and you are going to have fears and things that you have to overcome.
“You have to have a strong enough reason for where you’re going. Also you have to have a strong enough feel of it every day so you can internalize it in your brain.”
So how do we do this?
We have systems in our brain where we can kind of store things that we really, really want. You make yourself aware of it all the time in whatever you do, you see that this is where I’m going. This is where I’m going. This is gonna take me to this to this goal that I want.
Ultimately you have to raise your standards. You have to want something that is a little bit more than what you have today, otherwise there’s not going to be change it’s just going to be exactly the same.
And when you raise your standards you have to make it a must. Something that you must to do, something that it just is that way because if it’s not a “must” then it’s a “should” and you know very well that “should’s” are things that you should do, but you don’t do them. You make excuses to yourself like; “I should do that, but no it’s not that fun. No I’m not going to do it. It’s not a must. I don’t have time to do it.”
So you have to figure out the ones that are “musts” and it doesn’t matter what your goal is about, money or weight loss, or relations or work, or whatever. It works the same for every subject.
You cannot change the outside, but you can change your inner game, you can change your inside, you can change your view of it, you can change your actions.
You can make the actions that you do into rituals, things that just come automatically, things that are stored in the back of your mind. Your rituals will define you.
And then you take your small, small steps and that that will give you small victories every day, and you feel good. And you do a little bit more the next day. So you keep doing that, and you give the best of yourself every time.
You’re competing against yourself, you’re competing against what you are capable of. Of course you can compete with someone who has lower standards, but what would that mean? It would mean that you would be a winner every day because you have higher standards. But that’s an illusion because it’s not going to grow you. All this is going to do is compare you to someone else who’s not you, and that’s not what you want.
I’m going to give you four steps to help you start your new resolution:
- Select the area where where you want to improve and if you have more than one, just pick one for now and describe the current situation. Be very specific.
- Write down the rituals that have taken you, that have shaped you, to be in that situation that you are right now, and be honest because if you don’t you are only fooling yourself.
- You write down where you want to be in that area instead, this is your goal. Write your compelling vision, and be very specific.
- You just write down the rituals that will get you there. The things that will make your new compelling vision true. What would you need to do differently each and every day to get you there? And that’s where you want to be.
So then you just start doing it.
Now you take two or three little things that you can change and see what happens. And when they have changed then you can take the next two or three things and go through the same process I outlined above.
If you follow the plan then you will just get through it, and it will just work because these rituals are now in place, and you will continue to do them because they will become automatic. They’re going to make you the best you, and you’re going to grow.
You can make new ones whenever you want, it doesn’t matter and it definitely doesn’t have to be new year for you to make changes or new resolutions to change.
If you need some help with this then just click the link below and we’ll schedule a short call to see what you need.
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